Sep 3

A Bridge Too Far

I usually leave the writing to those who are good with words. However, I recently talked with a friend and wanted to share what we discussed.

My friend explained to me that she felt our website, Wildly Unstable Women’s concept of mocking misogyny, encouraging women and allies to speak out against abusers and demanding that abusers be held accountable, and encouraging and supporting challenging the normalcy of the patriarchy, was a "Bridge Too Far" for most women.

I acknowledged that we knew that.

We understand that other women might not yet be ready to challenge the misogyny inherent in the abuse they have suffered and are currently suffering.

At Wildly Unstable Women we will meet you wherever you are in your journey.

We understand that it is enormously difficult to name your abuser when that person is a member of your family. We Stand With You.

We understand that capitalism makes it extremely difficult to expose your boss who is sexually harassing you. We Stand With You.

We know it is dangerous and can be life-threatening to call the police on your spouse or partner who is violently abusing you. We know that it is difficult to leave an abusive relationship. We Stand With You.

We understand there are a myriad of reasons to remain silent. We do not judge you.

If in the future your journey calls for you to embrace our movement of challenging misogyny and the patriarchal system that supports the abuse of women and children we will embrace you.

When you feel strong enough to speak up, when you feel called to name the injustices you have experienced, when you need to name your abusers, when you need someone to acknowledge, validate, and support your healing journey please know that WE STAND WITH YOU and We Will SUPPORT YOU.

While we support you wherever you are on your journey~

Our Journey is to use our voices to demand change, confront misogyny, and Demand the dismantling of the Patriarchy.

“ Sexism is the foundation on which all tyranny is built. Every social form of hierarchy and abuse is modeled on male-over-female domination.” Andrea Dworkin

It’s been 176 years since the first wave of American suffragists held the Women’s Rights Convention in Seneca Falls, New York. Modern American women can vote, own property, get an education, and have a job. Unfortunately, the Equal Rights Amendment has not been passed, women continue to experience systemic discrimination, and there are high rates of domestic violence, rape, and murder of women. (See Sources below)

Currently, America is seeing a call from the Republican Party, assisted by Patriarchal right-wing churches, and influential members of religious sects such as Opus Dei’s Catholic Information Center (CIC) for the dismantling of the rights women have achieved thus far. Everyone should become familiar with the Christofascist agenda outlined in Project 2025 which promotes the regressive idea that women should stay at home and have babies. Project 2025 also supports abortion, birth control, and IVF bans. Women could lose the right to vote, the right to divorce, and the right to bodily autonomy. How did we get here? Regression and backlash often accompany social progress. Women have been lulled into complacency believing that progress would march forward and eventually women would be full citizens. Patriarchy has other plans.

As Frederick Douglass explained, “Power concedes nothing without a demand.” YOU HAVE TO DEMAND POWER. You demand nothing you get nothing. Women, children, and marginalized communities’ voices have been suppressed, stereotyped, and villainized. The patriarchy is allowed to abuse them constantly reinforcing and normalizing their oppression.

To maintain patriarchal power it is necessary to ensure that the proponents of the patriarchy are never held accountable. The Patriarchy refuses to hold abusers accountable. The system protects predators. We see this in the court system, media, education, politics, religious institutions, and our homes and communities.

Every single one of us needs to honor ourselves by demanding accountability from our abusers and stand with other survivors who are demanding accountability for themselves, the cycle of generational abuse will only end when together we demand accountability.

When abusers are not held accountable the patriarchal dominant society is sending a message that victims can be abused with impunity. Abusers are emboldened because they know that they will not be held accountable. Victims will not be believed. Victims will be silenced. Victims will be called crazy, unstable, and mentally ill. Victims will be shamed, hounded, sued, shunned, ostracized. We have seen the patriarchal assault on victims over and over. Because patriarchal society refuses to hold abusers of women and children accountable we have high rates of incest, sexual assault, and domestic violence. It is up to us to break the chains of generational trauma.

Let’s talk about what Accountability is

There are several forms of accountability.

Personal, Professional, Legal, Moral, Political, Police, Governmental

What Does Accountability Do

Fosters Public Trust
Enable Good Governance
Upholds Democratic Principles
Reinforces the Rule of Law

5. Promotes Organizational Responsiveness

Accountability is the foundation of civil society and good governance, bolsters trust and justice, and the absence can result in corruption and a decline in public trust.

When police, prosecutors, and judges refuse to hold abusers accountable for their crimes against women, and children, victims are discouraged from coming forward, from pressing charges, and seeking justice. When abusers are not held accountable, victims of abuse lose faith in the rule of law. When legislators refuse to create laws to protect women and children and marginalized communities abusers know they can continue to victimize others. When institutions fail to uphold democratic principles and apply the rule of law equally criminals benefit, corruption flourishes and the public trust is eroded.

“If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” ~ Lilla Watson, an Indigenous Australian Activist

The Future is Fragile

Patriarchy, the progenitor of misogyny, capitalism, and white supremacy is a sickness that not only oppresses millions of people but it’s killing the planet. The Rise of Christofascism targeting the rights of women and vulnerable populations is the natural progression of centuries of normalizing the abuse of women, children, marginalized populations, and the natural world. The insistence by the patriarchy that "mankind" has dominion over the earth has created a climate crisis on course to make the planet inhabitable.

Dismantling the Patriarchy requires holding the system and Abusers Accountable

Abusers will continue to abuse because the predatory patriarchal system supports them. The widespread abuse will not stop until we hold the system and abusers accountable. Nothing will change until we speak up and HOLD ABUSERS ACCOUNTABLE. We need to demand change. We cannot be silent any longer. When we are silent we are Complicit.

Join Us on The Bridge Too Far

At Wildly Unstable Women we are asking you to meet us on the Bridge Too Far.

We believe that a new world is possible.

We believe a new world is essential for the survival of humanity.

We believe that Demanding Accountability from the Powerful is the only avenue left to change misogynist societies but also to save the planet.

Dismantling the Patriarchy is not only essential to women's and children’s well-being but is essential for the survival of all sentient beings. If you can’t stand up for the victims of Patriarchy it is in your self-interest to prevent the destruction of the planet.

The patriarchy will not willingly give up extraction capitalism, will not give up exploitation of workers, will not stop the drilling for oil, will not stop the fracking, or stop the flood of plastic or pesticides. The madness will not stop because it has been normalized. You are not powerless you can demand Change, Demand Accountability, Demand Survival.

Patriarchy has normalized the abuse of women, children, and marginalized populations, it has normalized destroying the planet. ALL OF US have to demand change, and accountability from those in power; we have to Demand Survival.

We need to start talking about how we cross the Bridge Too Far and what we need to do when we get there. Come with us on this journey.

Let’s start that conversation …

When hearing about a woman experiencing abuse what is your first thought? Do you believe them? Do you hear them? Do you blame them? Do you shut down the conversation? Do you ask what you can do to help them?

Do you know someone abusive? Do you still engage with them? Did you address it with them? How does it make you feel when you see them, or talk to them?

Do you speak up when you witness abuse? Has anyone stood up for you?

Do you think that asking for accountability from abusers is too extreme?

When have you asked for accountability, an apology, or set a boundary? How did it make you feel?

What do you think should be done to solve the high rates of domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse?

Do you think women will ever have equal rights? How do you think we can achieve that goal in today’s world?

We would love to hear what you think.

We encourage you to investigate the following:

Sources:

How Dangerous is the Patriarchy